Sit with a partner. Maintain eye contact. Don't touch.

Tell her or him, "I feel separateness from you when I say to myself ... (specify all of the rational and irrational, serious and trivial, crazy and stupid and clear and astute things you say to yourself that make you feel separate from her or him.) Exhaust your list.

Your partner sits calmly and says, "Thank you" after each separation you enumerate.

Then have your partner tell you, "I feel separateness from you when I
say to myself...." Encourage your partner to exhaust her or his separatenesses: calmly say "Thank you" for each.

Then join hands. Tell your partner, "I feel oneness with you when I tell myself ... (complete with all the things you tell yourself which make you feel close to your partner..) Reverse roles. Discuss your experience with this exercise.

When you raise your consciousness to the dyadic level you still keep your bodymind awareness, your distinct personality and your inner voices, should you choose to temporarily identify with them.

When you and your significant other expand consciousness of yourselves to internalize each others' wisdom and concerns, you are on the dyadic level of consciousness. The energy, richness, complexity and awareness the two of you share exceeds the sum of both your individual bodymind energies and aware nesses. Your couple synergy is enhanced when you use your relationship so each of you grows and has more to give to the relationship as well.

Ken Keyes provides an excellent model for such synergistic dyadic consciousness. [Keyes, K., Handbook to Higher Consciousness, 5th Edition,: Living Love, 1979 and A Conscious Person's Guide to Relationships, Kentucky: Living Love, 1979.]
Keyes says to welcome upsets in your relationship. You can use upsets to raise your consciousness. He suggests you fully share your deepest feelings and process what you say to yourself which make you feel separate from and opposed to one another. You can then experience your oneness.

Relate compassionately, Keyes says, to your lover's problems as signals for her or him to grow without also getting yourself caught up emotionally. Process your own emotional upsets, feel centered and loving and then act freely. Use your relationship to stimulate internal dialogue at the personality levels of each of you, so you can both raise your individual and mutual consciousness. When you're upset, disturbed, unhappy or dissatisfied with your mate, explore your own addictions, that is, how you tell yourself your other must be and your relationship must be for you to be happy. Such addictions trigger your upset. You stop suffering and instead grow when you stop being addicted.

Change your addictions to preferences. Preferences are desires which, if not fulfilled, do not make you suffer.

* What, in Keyes' framework, are addictions and preferences?

* What does he mean when he says to upgrade your addictions to preferences?

Think of an addiction of yours that involves someone with whom you are in a relationship. Speculate on the form your addiction would take if it were raised to a preference.

* Imagine that you've up leveled your addiction to a preference. Imagine how your life would be affected. Tell me what you imagine.

* Recall a time when your intimate's annoying habit or attitude gave you an opportunity to discard an addiction and feel better as a result. Write you results.

Stop blaming each other for not meeting each other's expectations. Refrain from making addiction-based demands. Turn off addictions; turn on love. Let your intimate express anger, jealousy and other separating emotions aimed at you, while you love her or him more no matter what she or he does. Let her or his addictions be okay with you.

Realize that in disputes, you win some and lose some; that is okay.

Make your growth and self-expression help your love's growth as she or he defines it.
Before you enter a deep relationship with another, Keyes invites you to know and accept your own inner voices, personality and bodymind. Enter your relationship so you can cooperate with each other in "the great adventure of life."

Keyes recommends you avoid using intense love as a basis for involvement, since, at more inclusive levels of consciousness, you're at living oneness and love with all humanity. You are already deeply in love with everyone. Therefore, he says, choose carefully who you share your time and life games with. Choose someone who contributes to your well-being and vice versa.

"You contribute to your mutual well-being when you enjoy the 'enoughness' that you do have in your life, and thus open your heart to happiness by not creating emotion-backed demands for what you don't have. Learn to emotion- ally accept what is here and now in your life. You will find you always have 'enough' in your life."

Take responsibility, Keyes says, for creating your own happiness in your relationship. You use your relationship to raise your own consciousness only when you work on your own bodymind, personality and subself integration. Keyes suggests such integration allows you to be "in touch with the beautiful, capable and loving" aspects of your own subdyadic consciousness as well as higher consciousness. "I love you," means "You're mirroring me and letting me see the beautiful, capable parts of me."

Make your relationship delightful by being involved and sharing with your intimate, not by being addicted to your intimate for your happiness. To increase your involvement, you must decrease your addictions. Sharing means not hiding anything, so you can build a trusting base.

"Ask for what you want, but don't be addicted to getting it."

Keep noticing the beauty and preciousness of the bodymind and higher
being your intimate is no matter what subpersonality she or he is affecting.

Open to the form the relationship takes, which, for couples, may be nonmonogamous.

You function at the dyadic level of consciousness when you "discover
the 'us' place in terms of surrender, compassionate power and mutual give and take."

Dr. Lessin's holistic tantra book, All-Chakra Tantra, co-written with wife Janet Kira Lessin, is available at http://www.schooloftantra.net/Store/Books/AllChakraTantra.htm

www.schooloftantra.com, 808-244-4103, schooloftantra@aol.com

Let's say Tracy wins, and Tantra and sacred touching, etc., is allowed in Arizona.  Now that doesn't mean that it's allowed in California or Washington, BUT, if the case makes it to Federal court, which it very well may, then guess what?  Tracy's victory allows ALL OF YOU out West to practice the way you want because the 9th Circuit will have said you could.  The laws will extend far beyond the boundaries of Arizona, and by the way, the 9th Circuit is the MOST LIBERAL circuit in the country!  How can the case get there? By coordinating with the legal team for the Native American church of which the Temple is a member.  And in case you didn't know, that's already going on!

Then look at the alternative.  Let's say Tracy loses.  What if she  had a public defender that simply didn't have the time or the vision to do this case the right way?  What is she doesn't get out of jail because of it?  Then you know what will happen?  The system will break her, because that's what it's designed to do!  It will break her, she will end up pleading guilty and going to prison.

And you know what that means to everyone else?  It means that you will be next. Because now the State will have won.  If they can break into one church, automatic weapons drawn, throwing women to the ground, smashing altars and the like, and end up sending its pastor to prison, what makes you think they won't do it again??  They absolutely will, and when you're the one with a laser pointer on your chest, it will be too late to say, "Why didn't I help back then?"

This is it.  The time for talk is over.  We've all hear the saying about "first they came for the communists but I didn't care, because I wasn't a communist.  Then they came for the Jews, but I didn't care because I wasn't Jewish."  And we all know how it ends "Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak for me."  Call it cliche if you want, but guess what.  They just came for you.  And this case may very well determine whether or not they keep coming for you.

It's time to put up or shut up.  Tracy needs help - she needs money.  So either we help now, or we have no right to complain later when the police are smashing through the windows of our church.

Please donate: www.templeoftantra.org

Become a sacred lover. Learn All-Chakra Tantra and master the art of conscious, sacred sexuality. Give and receive whole body healing with other Students on the tantric path. Clear your chakras (energy centers) and become a manifestation of divine love.

As divinity incarnate, you’re attractive, sexy, sensual, irresistible. All are drawn to you because you’re channeling energy directly from Source/Universal Consciousness. You vibrate at a higher frequency. You become enlightened (full of light) and radiate love. Others are drawn to you, compulsively, like a moth to a flame.

You are a clear vessel of Love/God/Goddess. You are the sacred healer, the lover, a Daka or Dakini. You’re a true tantrica who emanates love, respects life, heals others through your sacred touch, love and spiritual beingness that’s forever connected to Love/Light/Source. Now you know it, feel it in ever cell of your being.

Students serve as surrogates (stand-ins) to help each other find the perfect mates (beloveds) and develop the skills to keep them and maintain functional, healthy, happy, successful relationships. You assist each other as you clear negativity. You learn skills that allow you to communicate clearly and consciously, authentically. You embody personal responsibility, truth, integrity, honesty, all things that make you attractive and desirable.

You have the cleared, healed, conscious relationships that you’ve always wanted. You experience love, laughter, abundance, joy and bliss.

You are sexually and sensually satisfied. Your life works (finally). You are free.

All this and more await you when you learn tantra, internalize it and master these sacred, spiritual teachings in to your being. You become the divine beloved at the Temple of Tantra, Maui, Hawaii.

Create conscious partnerships. Heal, clear those yucky things you don’t like in your current relationship. Bring in your lover. Tell him or her that you want to make it right, feel good, happy and blissful for both of you. If it’s not working for one, it’s really not working for both of you. You miss her or him. Where’s the excitement you once had? You were so great together, so juicy when you first met. Then what happened? You can fix it. You can recover your bliss. There are ways where there’s a will. And if not, because you’re really not meant to be with each other, not a match, then you can set each other free with kindness and love.

Joy, bliss, unconditional love, orgiastic energy is your birthright. You were conceived because someone (maybe two someones) had an orgasm. Life is supposed to be orgasmic. 47-52% of women do not have orgasms. Shame on all of us. We need to correct that for orgasms are our connections to God Source.

Clear your channels and open up your hailing frequencies to God/Source. Hello?

Now the real fun begins. Life is orgasmic, one HUGE orgasm as your kundalini awakens and you crack the cosmic code. Sexual energy and spiritual energy, love and God.dess are all the same thing! ONE! You are a spiritual being of love and light from God/Sourc manifesting as a human being. You are a BEING being human. Got it? Viola! Now you are enlightened (full of light). Life! Life it light! Enjoy it!

Join us, learn with us, grow evolve:

School of Tantra: www.schooloftantra.com

Temple of Tantra: www.templeoftantra.com

Sacred Matrix: www.sacredmatrix.com

Social Network: www.sacredmatrix.ning.com

Meetup: www.meetup.com/sacred-matrix

Ancient Anthropology/UFOs: www.enkispeaks.com

Extraterrestrials: www.extraterrestrialcontact.com

Lovers connect on all chakras, feel oneness with each other and the Divine.

TANTRA TRANSFORMED ME REVISITED (2011) by Janet Kira Lessin Excerpt from "How To Really Love A Woman" by Janet Kira Lessin & Sasha Lessin, Ph. D. TANTRA TRANSFORMED ME REVISITED (2011) by Janet Kira Lessin

I wrote the following article in 1997 or 1998, almost 14 years ago. My husband and I were new to each other then, younger and very excited. When we first met and looked deep into each others’ eyes, we recognized our deep soul connection that goes back to the dawn of time. We knew our meeting was destined, pre-determined by us before we were born. Through our tantric lovemaking, we remembered our soul missions and what we had decided to accomplish when we came down in to these bodies in physical form. Since we know our life’s mission, we have meaning, purpose and feel happy, content and fulfilled as a result.

Through this worldview, we’re able to cope with the difficulties of life, that often seem endless, relentless. Even in the midst of stress and deepest despair, we find peace knowing that our souls were ready, had done centuries of work to prepare us to meet and find one another amongst the billions of souls alive in this world at this time despite incredible odds.

We were both newly divorced when we met. Our marriage was the third for both of us. Neither of us were exactly young anymore. We were supposed to be mature. I was 43, he 57. We knew the patterns of relationship. We had been there before. I was surprised that I was able to let go and totally fall in love again, that I hadn’t been so jaded from past, failed loves that true love would be impossible. When we met, I fell in love very hard. He met me, matched my passion and intensity, fell as much in love with me as I with him. At that time a part of me felt afraid that old patterns that led to failure might soon emerge. It seemed at our meeting that we were at our height, that we had reached an epiphany and that it could only go downhill from there after the honeymoon was over, as all relationships tend to do.

Here it is years later. Amazingly, actually, the reverse has happened. Despite a rugged, rocky road, our love has grown, deeper, richer, fuller. It’s more unconditional now than in the beginning. Tantra gave us the tools to go deeper with each other over the years.

Life dealt us challenges, disappointments and surprisingly difficult blows. We learned how to bounce back each time, hold on tight to each other and ride the wild ride. We cried a lot. Sometimes things were so ironic, so bizarre, that laughter was the only way to relieve pressure and alleviate pain. In 2010 we almost lost one another to illness. While difficult, those experiences made us appreciate life more fully, to embrace each breath as the gift it truly is. Life is fragile and our time together more precious than ever. We always thought we were blessed to find each other. But now we KNOW how incredibly blessed we truly are.

We realized blows can be blessings. It’s simply a matter of perspective. We can always adjust our beliefs and see divine purpose under things that seem senseless or meaningless. It’s a new year, just a few days past the beginning of 2011. I hope you enjoy this article. It comes from my heart. I wrote it in hopes that it’ll help you. I decided early on to become transparent in my discoveries in life so that others might gain from what I learn, often the hard way. If only we humans could be more authentic with one another, accepting and tolerant, we might accelerate our soul’s progress and become more kind, loving, empathetic and compassionate.

With love we could eliminate cruelty, crime and war from this world. Truth frees us. I decided to be truthful with my part. But I use pseudonyms for those characters in my personal passion play to protect the guilty and give all due respect for their personal paths. Each person must find their own way on their journey through life and back home to Source and Oneness. It’s not up to me to judge. I can only be me. Everyone else is taken.

TANTRA: TANTRA TRANSFORMED ME (1998) by Janet Kira Lessin

My husband Sasha and I live an All-Chakra Tantra lifestyle. We share and expand energy with each other on each of our levels of consciousness. We link these consciousness levels to chakras, centers in and around our bodies. The chakras--around the perineum, genitals, belly, heart, throat, brow and crown–relate to security, sex, power, love, talk, knowing and spirituality. We connect sexually twice (often three times) daily. Each connect, we align our chakras–press our bodies together and touch genitals, bellies, hearts and heads. We breathe together and bless each other’s chakras. We embody each chakra, and as the voice of each, say what we need. When Sasha, for example, embodies his security (perineal) center, he requests, "Say you’ll never leave me." Morning connects lasts but a tantalizing twenty minutes.

Afternoon connects, where we focus on me, last ninety minutes. I talk, he facilitates. Then, with his mouth and fingers, he brings me to an ejaculatory orgasm. Then we have intercourse. He has a electro-kinesthetic kundalini, non-ejaculatory orgasms and I get clitoral and vaginal orgasms. Our evening connects--about ninety minutes--climax in full ejaculatory orgasms–first mine then his or sometimes, both simultaneously. We create romance when we connect. We talk and feel close. Satisfied. Life’s sweet. That’s what connecting twice or more daily does for us. That’s what it does for other practitioners of All-Chakra Tantra. And romance, closeness, satisfaction and sweetness is what All-Chakra Tantra can give you too.

Enjoy the ways you already love loving and add tantra as an option. Now and then or regularly, ritualize your rendezvous, process your problems, heed each other’s needs, satisfy each other sexually. Give each tryst original twists--express, encounter, laugh and love in ways that fulfill you both. The more you connect tantrically, the more you both feel secure, sensual, empowered, open-hearted, heard, supported and spiritually-encouraged. Open all your centers to each other.

Then you communicate kindly and effectively, heal wounds and remove limits to loving. Your separate self-sense merges into a consciousness of unity with each other, lovers everywhere, all consciousnesses, the divine. If you’re in a primary relationship and want to treasure and enhance it as you enter the expanded relating of polyamory, I suggest you and your partner develop a tantric practice to sustain your primary bond. Since I met Sasha, I live a blissful, orgasmic tantric life.

Tantra means weaving. In Sash’s tantra system, All-Chakra Tantra, we weave within and between us on all levels of our awareness. We associate the levels of awareness, called chakras, with zones within our bodies. Thus we share spiritual connection (crown chakra), intellectual and intuitive vision (third-eye), honest communication (throat chakra), give and get love (heart chakra), mutual empowerment (belly chakra), sexual connection (genital chakra) and home, work, and resources (base chakra). Yet we sometimes argue and I even yell!

So how can I say that we live a tantric life? What I mean by our tantric life is that by weaving our chakras within ourselves and between us, we’ve at last found inner peace. Sasha and I are devoted and committed to one another and to the process of our relationship. From within that process, we experience the full range of emotions, spanning the entire spectrum, from our arguments to our ecstacy. We’re family to one another. More than husband and wife, we’re each others’ wife, mother, father, friend, lover, sister and brother as well. We both married and adopted one another.

Sash and I commit to relate to each other all our lives. We commit to heal each other’s wounds from our childhood and adult relations. We empathize and wait for the other to return to love when he or I experience temporary regression, insanity, depression or rage. If we both destabilize at the same time, we invoke our love, use our talking and touching skills and keep talking till our pique passes. When we can’t "figure it out," with our talking skills, we "finger it out" and use our tantric touching techniques, though, initially, we don’t "feel" like it. Bodies remember love on a cellular level. So, even if we’re stuck at an impasse, we put aside our stubborn egos and hug tight. Defenses and anger melt; once again we adore each other and our love’s what really matters.

Our souls embrace as mates who’ve connected after all centuries searching for each other. We appreciate our blessings. In this tantric glow, mundane chores seem privileges. "I thank God/Goddess I have toilets to scrub. I thank you Universe for dishes to clean, food to eat and loved ones to feed." I love the birds, the sky, the water, the air, the plants, the ocean, my friends, my cats, God is within every molecule, every being, every thing.

You honor craftsmanship in your car. You think of those who created the technology for the simple things around you; your toothbrush, the glass in your windows, the carpet beneath your feet. You see a building and imagine how many things made by how many people from how many parts of this globe went into its construction. You appreciate the knowledge and love people put into all the inventions that led to each creation. You treasure the history of civilization all around you.

My life is orgasmic; and as such, my beloved husband, my devotee’s dedicated to my happiness and well-being; and I to him. We connect intimately twice a day. In the morning Sasha and I may connect briefly, aligning chakras, looking into one another’s eyes, exchanging breath, speaking loving words and sharing our innermost secret thoughts. Sasha may or may not be inserted in me. He does not ejaculate so he can conserve his energy during the day.

Every evening Sasha and I connect fully in sweet, passionate sexual embrace. We fall asleep in one another’s arms, full and complete. Sash, my beloved healer and devotee, honors my yoni with his lips, tongue and magic fingers whenever I request, trilling my clitoris and massaging my g-spot as I cry out in bliss. I channel divine Shakti energy and Sash rides my orgasmic waves. The veil of separation between us disappears. He feels what I feel. We become the cosmic ONE. We move energy in our sacred circle: from the shrine of my vaginal chakra, up the center of my body, through my belly, heart, throat, third eye and out my crown; then down into his base, through all his chakras, out through his hands and mouth and into me again. We channel our combined kundalini energies into a complete circuit--man, woman and God. I go higher with each wave, thinking each level is "the top," only to find I haven’t yet begun to crescent. My orgasms blend one into another.

I enter a dimension of timelessness. Images of yesteryear dance before my eyes. I’m 20; I’m 5; I’m 35; I’m in Mom’s uterus. As ecstatic sensations increase, I move from personal self to historical and remember lifetimes on the Earth and relive lifetimes in other dimensions and on far away planets. I relive the stories of the ages and become the archetypes: Ninmah, Aphrodite, Athena, Zeus, Thor. I lose my self-sense entirely and become one with Mother Gaia and God/Goddess, the Universe. I move between masculine and feminine. I peak; my amrita–ejaculate--gushes. Sasha smiles and chants, "Blessings, blessings." My ejaculation cues him that my psyche’s ready to accept programming affirmations. He croons, "Our mortgage’s paid," "Your new car awaits you."

But wait, there is yet another level. I go higher. I recall the challenge he once whispered in my ear, "How much pleasure can you take?" Part of me wants to stop; the other part wants to continue to push that threshold. My whole body pulsates in full-body orgasm. Kreas (waves of electric pulses) rush up and down my spine; my body snakes and pulsates with the rhythm. Chemicals rush to my toes, fingers and head. I moan, long, slow, Oooohhh. I’m complete. From this orgasmic state, I can go out and face the day. The stresses of life melt away in the arms of my beloved. I can handle it; I can go on.

Sasha, my beloved husband, also employs our tantric lovemaking to heal the abuse, pain and self-limiting scripts of my entire existence. When an upsetting memory or pastlife image arises during our lovemaking, he tells me to relive the experience, feel the feelings and express and amplify these emotions to the people involved in incidents, situations or pastlife. Then he has me focus on my fear-driven scripts and defensive subpersonalities I developed to deal with the trauma. He then tells me to imagine and re-write the scene of my upset the way I’d have liked to, so I generate an affirmation, a new guideline for situations. In our sessions, I’d been dealing with a fear-driven script that left me feeling anxious. Sasha says nurturing, joyous and selfloving reminders as I ejaculate. Re-programs me with positive options.

Finally, Sash has me identify and speak as each of the subselves that had been enforcing the self-limiting script associated with the upset our sexual touching triggered. Sasha dialogues with my defensive subselves (Inner Critic, Spacer, etc.). He helps the defensive subs find new ways, when needed, to serve me. At last, in Sasha, I’ve found a partner who meets me on all chakra levels.