Life After Polyamory: Young and Beautiful, Someday Your Looks Will Be Gone by Janet Kira Lessin I’m 57 now and my poly dreams are fading. Shattered. Yet I remain eternally hopeful, optimistic yet realistic at the same time. I’m not 18 anymore. I have gray hair covered by blonde dye. My face is beginning to sag. I have smile and laugh wrinkles around my baby blue eyes and my mouth. When look down there’s this weird thing that happens with my chin. I’ve put on weight with menopause. This past year I almost died from gallstones. I suffer from arrhythmia, allergies and asthma. My bones ache and Lord knows what other ills lie beneath the surface.
But I’m blessed beyond belief for I am loved and have been loved by some incredible people, male and female, some living, some dead. Each year that passes more cross over. They are all, always with me. I’m so fortunate that I have a husband, my best friend, lover, confidant. We share everything–hopes, dreams, desires, heartaches, fortunes and failures. We married each other the first time we made love. We married a second time at the Celebration of Eros Conference at Harbin Hot Springs, Northern California in 1997 in front of 200 tantrikas. We married each other legally at the Cupids Chapel in Las Vegas September 20, 2000. We marry each other again every New Years Eve on our deck overlooking the Kahului Harbor in Maui while hundreds of fireworks light the night sky.
We are love incarnate, soul mates, twin flames, eternally entwined, connected, one, love divine. We find each other lifetime after lifetime. We are part of a larger soul group that’s closely connected to an even larger soul group. We all love each other unconditionally, know that we are one love, one being with many arms reaching to the farthest part of the cosmos. We frequently reincarnate together in various configurations, changing sex and relationships to more effectively expedite lessons and accelerate our soul’s evolution. While my ego self may long for connection, my soul knows I’m always one with all of you. My capacity to love includes all of you and all beings, all life everywhere, here, there and in the cosmos.
Who will come hold my hand, look in my eyes, stroke my hair, kiss my cheek? That's the mystery. Uknown. But simultaneously I am so blessed to have dear Sasha forever at my side. My awareness now comprehends that if ever we should cross the veil without the other, we remain eternally connected. I suspect, however, that we’ll go together. And the love we’ve shared with those we’ve been blessed to know has been so incredibly awesome, a true gift. Even though our ego selves may have reacted to one another in some extreme, sometimes bizarre ways, underneath it all, we remember our oversoul's purpose. We are wise.
2010 was a struggle, a choice for both of us to stay here, alive, in this dimension, on blessed Gaia. We chose to remain, to share more time, learn more, gather experiences, grow, expand, evolve our souls. We journey out again to the mainland soon, to meet some of you, share breath, life and a piece of our souls. I'm excited, apprehensive, joyous, aware. Maybe some of you will recognize us, see the beautiful children and the young man and woman that lies beneath our souls. Maybe you'll dare to care. I love so much and remain open, polyamorous all my lives.
I know there are those capable of expanding love beyond magazine covers, runway models, Hollywood images and superficial symbols. I am confident there are those who embrace true intimacy, love and authentic relationships. Love is far more than the temporary bodies we wear. Sash and I laugh and say we are like the charpei dogs next door, each passing year makes our skin sag and droop! But how our souls glow beneath that laughter with our ability to love so deeply, so completely. True, we were both once young and beautiful and yes, that look is long gone. But now we shine with a different beauty, one of age and wisdom. And those we love often come the say way! And amazingly others of all ages see beyond and recognize beauty in whatever ever form it comes and desire to join with us in sacred union.
Together we share our souls, body, love deeply, transcend our separate, skin-encapsulated self sense and soar as one to touch the face of God Source as she smiles, laughs and embraces her children who are all parts of Her God/dess Self. We look forward to meeting our soul mates – all of you. And who knows which ones will feel inclined to join us in holy communion in our tantric temple community ashram in Mother Maui, Hawaii? We remain open, forever, totally devoted to love. We’re committed to the path, certain of it’s perfection wherever it goes. We have no attachment, content with the now. Happy as it is and open to how it may be.
